I once was told to listen to her.
Listen to the child inside calling you back home.
Back to your base.
Back to where Tinkerbell was your hero and rain was your joy.
And when I experienced my first anxiety attack last year, I understood why.
I had ignored her.
I had suppressed her everyday believing that I was wiser.
That I was stronger.
But she caught up to me.
Now anxiety is a hot topic.
But I’m not joining the crowd when I say that I felt my heart beating out of control, my sanity slipping into constant negativity, and my fear becoming the driver of everyday life.
At that time, all I could see was a cage closing around me and I was scared.
I remember walking out of work that day with tears in my eyes thinking that something was wrong with me.
When really, it wasn’t something, it was someone and that someone was trying to be heard.
Unfortunately it took severe stress and suppression of my emotions for me to listen and it didn’t stop there.
It also took a break up, changing jobs, drinking to avoid the pain, and therapy before I really listened.
I was a mess.
But she stood by me.
She knew my worth and wouldn’t stop screaming until I did too.
And now I praise that beautiful girl who pounded on my heart because if I hadn’t listened, I’d still be there with you.