I’m getting a new tattoo tomorrow.
It’s my first big color tattoo.
I’m a bit nervous I’ll hate it.
The tattooer sent me her sketch and I hated it.
But I didn’t tell her I did.
I told her the things I liked about it and the things I liked about my inspiration picture I sent her and asked if it’s doable to implement those specific likes.
She said she’ll be free handing it and yes it’s easy to implement.
I responded, I trust you.
But fuck I’m nervous.
But I’ve seen her portfolio.
I like her work.
I really do.
So I know it won’t be shit.
But trust, man.
That’s hard for me.
I’m controlling at best.
More leaning ocd.
I waver between impulsive and compulsive on the daily.
So for her to say she’ll freehand it
Is like me saying let me just eat everything in the kitchen and see if I get fat.
It’s insane to me.
Yet, I’m attracted to it.
I want it.
I want to be open to trust.
To releasing my control.
I want to be free to receive her art.
Pray for me
Because I’m about to pay almost $1,000 for freedom.